Like Glass
by Yaoifan101
Summary: Kaoru is kidnapped and Hikaru is crushed by the event. The host club now must find Kaoru but Hikaru is suffering just as much. Now Tamaki tries to help Hikaru. But will he be able to? Will they ever find Kaoru? okay Tamahika Yaoi some brother love
1. Chapter 1

Hikaru's eyes were dead...he stared blankly at the ground recalling the events that had just occurred.

_They were walking around the city. It was another trip they went on to explore the commoner world. Hikaru and Kaoru were walking through a few clothing shops. But they got bored and decided to find the others._

_While they were walking however Kaoru stopped._

_"What" he asked looking over at a long alley. Hikaru looked over in question._

_"What is it Kaoru?" he asked. _

_"Just now..I..thought I heard something." he said._

_Kaoru began walking into the alley with little steps. Looking forward into the dark questioningly. All you could see was black past a point...it was a mystery were the alley led to or when it ended._

_Hikaru looked forward to see the rest of the group._

_"There you guys are!" Tamaki said. Hikaru looked at them before following Kaoru. He noticed that Kaoru was already close to the blackness._

_Kaoru furrowed his brows squinting slightly looking into black. Then..._

_"AH!"_

_Hikaru widened his eyes as he heard his twin scream. _

_"Kaoru!" he shouted the rest of the group rushed around the corner. Hikaru stared to see a black clad figure holding onto his brother._

_One arm around his waist and the other around his neck. Kaoru stood frozen his heart beating ten miles an hour._

_"Let him go you bastard!" Hikaru shouted. But the figure didn't answer however...he did pull out a gun._

_And held it threateningly at Kaoru. Hikaru widened his eyes his stomach churned suddenly._

_They widened their eyes when the man then made his escape..taking Kaoru with him into the blackness._

_Kaoru swung over his shoulder. Hikaru started to run forward holding out his hand. But Tamaki grabbed him instead._

_Kaoru stared in pleading horror holding out his hand._

_"HIKARU!" he screamed._

_"KAORU!"_

_Hikaru stared as his twin was drawn into the blackness, he was struggling fiercely against the blonde's grip._

_Desperately wanting to run after his brother._

_"Hikaru stop it, you can't go after them!" Tamaki said to him trying to contain the struggling red head._

_Hikaru could only stare into the blackness._

_"..Kaoru..."_

His eyes were dead. But the pain was ripping him apart on the inside, as Kaoru's face kept showing up in his mind. The last time he saw him...it kept replaying over..and over..and over.

They had called the police and the Ootori family police as well. It had been hours and there had been no word back yet. They were waiting at Kyoya's house currently.

No one spoke. However their eyes were all on Hikaru. He just sat on a chair staring down at the ground.

Hikaru had been silent the entire time. The sun was shining through the windows hitting directly to Hikaru's face...only managing to highlight his expression to those around him.

Everyone could sense exactly what the other was thinking. Yet everyone knew not to talk to him...even Haruhi knew not to say anything.

Hikaru resembled glass.

Like a glass doll.

You could reach out to touch it...but the surface would shatter below your fingertips.

No matter how light the touch...it would brake.

Thats why no one tried to say anything...it was as if Hikaru would shatter under their fingers if they tried to help.

He was fragile like glass.

Fragile glass.

All they could do was look upon him with concern and sadness in their eyes.

It was like something had thrown everything off. Nothing seemed right in the usual atmosphere.

Honey wasn't eating cake.

Kyoya wasn't typing on his laptop.

Tamaki wasn't trying to flirt with Haruhi.

Haruhi wasn't trying to make him feel better.

The atmosphere changed.

And all the while Hikaru sat there unfazed by anything. All that he could think of was Kaoru. Kaoru was all he could see. All he could hear, all he could feel, all he could smell.

They had found out on that day that the commoner world was different then they thought.

The commoner world was also full of danger.

If there was one thing they learned from this it was that. And that in the commoner world..you had to be careful.

That lesson would remain with them forever.

Hikaru couldn't stop worrying....he felt like half a person. He was nothing without Kaoru...he was not Hikaru without Kaoru. He was not anyone...without Kaoru.

Just then the door opened.

"Master Kyoya you have a guest here to see you." one of the maids said.

One of the cops from the incident appeared to them.

Hikaru widened his eyes slightly life returning to them as he stood up. They all walked over standing in front of the cop.

They stared waiting for him to speak.

There was a silence though. When the cop finally spoke.

"We searched everywhere.." he said.

Hikaru stared at him..his voice..it sounded that way..

"We didn't find him..I'm very sorry."

Hikaru widened his eyes, a small crack was heard only by him.

An invisible cracking line forming on him...and shattering to pieces.

"We can keep searching..but until we get some sort of contact from them..we won't know were he is." he said.

With that he left.

Hikaru stared still. His heart felt heavy..his stomach churned painfully. And only Hikaru could hear the sound of shattering glass.

He suddenly fell to his knee's, they widened their eyes looking to the twin.

Who stared at the ground with wide eyes, filled with the many emotions that swam within his heart.

They were filled with pain, hopelessness, fear.....they looked absolutely shattered...it looked as if his world had just shattered around him.

Tamaki stared down at him.

Hikaru felt completely...and utterly shattered. Tears filled his eyes suddenly, obscuring his vision.

His eyes felt hot the pain was to great. The tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Tamaki knelt down by the the red head.

"Hikaru..." he said silently.

He wrapped his arms around the other Hikaru's head was near his shoulder. He didn't seem to even notice the action.

Before his pain overwhelmed him. He lowered his head and pain filled sobs began to emit from his throat.

Tamaki frowned putting one of his hands on the others head. The older twins pain seemed to be emitting off of him.

Tamaki ran his fingers through the teens hair as he sobbed. The fear of his brother being lost forever torturing him. The fear of his little brother being killed tore him apart inside.

He shut his eyes...it was too painful to bear.

Tamaki frowned though....his pain..it felt almost like....

Shattered glass.

His pain felt like broken shards of glass.

But he knew that if this was painful for him...what Hikaru felt must have been ten times worse. It must have felt like thousands of shards of glass cutting you from the inside.

Despite this he continued to hold him.

"Shhh" he whispered in a soothing voice. He knew that it would do little to dull the pain. However he continued this.

Feeling the other shaking below his fingers.

Fragile like glass.

The sad thought of that comparison only made him tighten his grip around the boy.

"Shh shhh" he continued to murmur.

It was like every time you reached out to help...every time you touched him. It was still to delicate.

It was too fragile to even be helped..if you tried to put it back together it would just shatter again.

"Its okay Hikaru..." he said softly.

While stroking his head...touching the fragile glass. Fearing that it would crack more below his hands. Yet with the desperate yearning and determination...to put him back together.

"We'll find Kaoru.."

TBC

_**OHH MY GOD i was watching the same amv...this time it was an ouran version of the lovely bones trailer....and this came out of it...i think it'll be good**_

_**but who cares what i think i wanna know what you think! so review!**_


	2. Stay with me

_"HIKARU!"_

_"KAORU!"_

Hikaru opened his eyes as the voices faded from his head. He stared up at the ceiling. His eyes down casted once more. He was laying on the couch thinking about what happened yesterday.

They had gone to the Hitachin residence and they all stayed there. It was as if Hikaru had shut down.

But Hikaru's mind was quite the opposite.

/..Kaoru...I need to have you back with me...how will I live without you. Without you I can't breathe because you were my air...without you I can't see because you were my eyes. Without you I can't speak because you were my voice, without you I can't move because you were my body./

Hikaru frowned.

/..Without you I can not live...because you were my life./

/Without you I can not exist..because you are me...and I am you./

How could he be a twin...without a twin. The pain was great within him. Plagued by guilt and worry.

"Hikaru..we're going to go now alright," Haruhi said with Mori and Honey behind her. But Hikaru didn't even spare her a glance.

So they left.

Hikaru closed his eyes again slightly tighter then before. There was an aching pain in his abdomen. He knew it was Kaoru....it was his pain.

Hikaru could feel his pain, feel his fear.

It hurt.

"Hikaru."

Hikaru opened his eyes looking over at the blonde he stood before him.

"Hikaru...I.." Tamaki stopped however. His blue eyes becoming slightly hesitant. "I..don't think its a good idea for you to stay here by yourself." he said.

Hikaru looked up at him but didn't reply, he began to sit up.

"I just don't think you should be alone right now." he said.

"Where am I suppose to go then?" Hikaru asked his voice had lost some of its mischievous edge. Hikaru felt a tug at his heart as he spoke.

Because when he spoke..he heard Kaoru's voice as well.

Tamaki looked down at the red head.

"..Well..i think its best if you..stay with me until we find him," he said.

Hikaru looked at him, blue staring into green.

Two different emotions clashing together, one eye reading the other.

"Until?" Hikaru asked silently his eyes staring into blue filled with sorrow, and discouragement.

Tamaki looked at him.

"Don't you mean if?" he asked.

Tamaki frowned looking down at him, he placed his hands on the boys shoulders and kneeled down in front of him.

"No..because we will find him..I promise," he said. Offering a reassuring smile to him.

Just then something sparked up again within those dead green eyes. Hikaru might have considered this an empty promise...but..the sincerity in his voice.

Tamaki saw the spark return to his eyes, and felt overjoyed that his touch had not broken him more.

..............

A few hours later they arrived at the Suoh estate.

They stood in Tamaki's room at the moment. Hikaru stood there staring out one of the windows lined along the wall.

Tamaki looked at him.

"Uh..here let me take your bag," he said taking it from him and storing it next to the bed.

"Sempai..." Hikaru asked while not breaking contact with world outside the window.

Tamaki looked up and blinked slightly...Hikaru never called him sempai. He stood up and looked at the other, who's back was to him.

"Why did you hold me back before.." he asked. Tamaki blinked slightly.

"Why didn't you let me go after him?" he asked. Tamaki frowned slightly.

"..He would have hurt Kaoru...and if you went after them..he would have hurt you too." he said.

Hikaru looked out the window bringing his hand up touching his fingers to the glass. While staring at the sky.

"What am I suppose to do if we don't find him?" he asked silently.

Tamaki walked closer to him he frowned his eyes filling with sorrow and pity for him.

"...I'll just wander the earth all alone for the rest of eternity.." Hikaru said.

"Don't say that," Tamaki said almost pleadingly.

"That's the only fate for me if he doesn't come back...I'm not a person without him." he said.

"You are a person Hikaru," Tamaki replied.

Hikaru shook his head lightly while continuing to stare outside.

"No...I'm not..don't you get it? It's never been 'I' or 'me'...it's always been 'us' and 'we'." he said. "I don't know how to be a separate person..because I'm not anyone without Kaoru."

Tamaki looked at him with sorrowful eyes.

"If we don't find him...I won't be a person anymore, I'll be all alone..because then 'our' world will just be 'my' world."

"I..don't know how to live like that." he said.

"..Hikaru..we will find Kaoru." he stated.

_Hikaru opened his eyes to a very familiar sight...a darkened alley. He looked around and widened his eyes to see Kaoru. Over the mans shoulder with his hand outstretched._

_"KAORU!" he shouted running with his hand out. _

_"HIKARU!"_

_He ran faster and faster but he could never get there, he desperately tried to latch onto his hand. But it was always just out of his reach._

_'AH!" Hikaru said as suddenly the ground split with him on one side..and Kaoru on the other._

_"Hikaru!" Kaoru screamed._

_"Kaoru!" he shouted. Hands so close..almost to touch..and then Kaoru was dragged into the darkness._

_Hikaru stared watching him disappear through his fingers._

_"..No.." he said falling to his knee's hand outstretched. _

_"..No." _

"No.." Hikaru murmured in his sleep.

"Hikaru.." Tamaki asked, sitting up in bed looking over at the sleeping red head. He had been laying on his side with his back to Tamaki. He had been rather restless in his sleep.

Moaning and groaning in his sleep, his expression was saddening for Tamaki. His brows slightly furrowed mixing an expression of despair and pain.

Tamaki looked down at him placing his hand on the boys shoulder shaking him slightly.

"Hikaru," he said again.

He widened his eyes slightly when he looked at the boys face again. When he saw small tears trail down his face in his sleep.

"..Kaoru.." he whispered.

"Hikaru," Tamaki repeated shaking him a little more.

This time Hikaru began opening his eyes. He sat up rubbing his eyes of the tears. He looked down.

"..Did you have a bad dream?" Tamaki asked.

"..I feel guilty." he admitted.

"Why?"

"...It's my fault Kaoru's gone.." he said.

"No its not..its no ones fault," he reassured.

"It is my fault...I was so close to his hand...in my dream every time. Its so close..I can almost touch him..but he's always just out of my reach." he said.

Tamaki frowned.

"..I'm so close to him and yet I'm so far away...I can't grab his hand..I can run and run as fast as i can..but he always slips away. Every time i get closer he gets farther away. I run and run but I can never catch up to him." he said.

He lowered his head.

"..When I can't run anymore...he always disappears into the dark. I fail every time...he needs me so much and I can't help him."

"Hikaru...it's not your fault...your can't keep blaming yourself." he reassured. He hesitated slightly, before moving forward and wrapping his arms around his frame.

Hikaru blinked slightly.

"Just wait...when Kaoru is back and everything goes back to normal..this will all just be a memory. This will all be just a bad dream."

"..Sempai....will I ever wake up from it?" he asked. Glancing tiredly back at him.

Tamaki looked at him resting his chin on his shoulder.

"..Yeah..I promise you will..but until then you can just stay with me." he said softly. Closing his eyes.

Hikaru closed his eyes feeling sleep consume him once more.

"..I'd like that," he said before falling asleep.

Tamaki opened his eyes looking at the now sleeping twin, he smiled sadly tightening his grip. And leaning slightly more into him closing his eyes.

"..So would I."

TBC

_**YAY...well someone has got to tell me..is my story just bad...or is it because this pairing isn't popular that no ones reading it**_

_**I'd like at least 1 more review before I write more..Please please!**_


	3. The Mender

Tamaki eyed the younger host as he sat there looking out the window. Could he really fix the boy?

Looking at him he just...seemed so..fragile.

As he sat there staring out that window the light hit his face. His skin seemed almost like porcelain..delicate. His eyes..could look so emotional..they could be filled with joy..but they could also project painful suffering.

Tamaki feared his hands would break him...shatter him. How can you fix something..that can't be touched?

Was Kaoru the only person who could mend Hikaru. Or was it..Kaoru was the thing that kept Hikaru mended.

Kaoru was Hikaru's mender.

How could he possibly take over that responsibility. Tamaki continued to watch over Hikaru as he sat there. For at the moment thats all he could do.

He wanted to watch over him...forever. To guard him..to make sure the glass wouldn't shatter.

Tamaki suddenly felt a vibration in his pocket followed by a ringing sound.

"Eh?" he asked looking at his pocket. Hikaru glanced over slightly before looking back.

Tamaki took out his phone and opened it.

"Hey Kyoya.." he said. Letting his eyes drift back over to the twin.

_"Tamaki...what's wrong with you you sound different," _Kyoya pointed out on the other line.

"_.._It's nothing..." Tamaki replied.

"_You're lying," _he said.

Tamaki sighed taking the phone away from his ear and pressing it to his shirt for a moment.

"Hikaru..I need to take this phone call outside okay?" he said.

Hikaru glanced over at him.

"Okay," he replied.

"I'll be in the hall if you need me," he said and walked out the door.

He shut it behind him and put the phone back to his ear.

".It's nothing..its just Hikaru.." he replied.

_"Hikaru?..Is he doing alright?"_ he asked wondering vaguely if something else had happened.

"Yeah..I mean..as good as he can be right now. I just feel so bad for him, he's so different."

_"Well you didn't expect he'd act the same way after what happened did you?"_

"Well of course not...but I'm afraid of what he might do. He feels guilty about it...he has nightmares, most of the time he sits and looks out the window." Tamaki's voice fading slightly as he spoke. "I want to help him so badly..but he's like shattered glass Kyoya. I'm afraid if I try to help him I might hurt him."

"_Well in my opinion he needs all the help he can get. Besides, if you of all people are trying to help him I doubt you could hurt him."_

"I suppose..but I don't know if I can help him much, I'm not Kaoru." he said. "I don't know Kyoya..I want to help him..I want to fix him. All I want to do is protect him now, I just want to watch over him so he doesn't get hurt anymore." he said in slight distress putting his hand on his face.

"_Thats normal isn't it though? After all you have a bond with them don't you, you care about them. So of course you'd want to help him."_

"But..I feel so protective.." he trailed.

"_Well..you are his 'father' right? Perhaps these are just your parental instincts."_

"That might be...but..this feelings more then that.."

"_..Well then maybe you have deeper feeling for him then as a friend," _Kyoya pointed out.

"..Maybe..."

"_Well Tamaki back to the reason I called you for."_

"Oh sorry Kyoya what is it?" Tamaki asked.

"_Well the investigation is in progress you'll be happy to know that police forces from every family are helping, except for Haruhi who has no police forces. But this also includes the regular police and the 5 of us as well."_

"That's great Kyoya..any word about Kaoru yet?"

_"We haven't discovered his whereabouts yet, but the investigation is still at a steady pace at least,"_

"Thats good to hear," Tamaki replied.

"_Well I think we should have a meeting ourselves to discuss as well."_

"Sure that'd be fine."

Meanwhile in the other room something else was happening. Hikaru looked over as Tamaki closed the door. He looked out the window then.

He stood up touching the glass.

"Kaoru...how likely is it you'll come back, I feel your pain..I know you must feel some of mine too." he said silently.

"So I know that i'll know if you die...I'm sorry to know that you too will know if I die." he said. His green eyes looked over to a letter opener on the table.

He walked over and picked it up gazing at the blade.

"Kaoru..I'm sorry to know that you'll feel my pain, but this way I'll have a better chance of seeing you again."

Hikaru held up his left arm with his palm up, looking at his wrist. He traced the blade lightly over it..just enough to feel it but not to make the slightest cut.

"I love you Kaoru...that's why I can't live without you," he said with tear filling his eyes. "I can't be alone..I won't be alone..I won't go on without you."

He kept tracing just to feel the blade. He looked into the blade so his eyes were reflected in it.

"I can't help you Kaoru...I couldn't grab your hand before..how can I save you now?" he asked.

He felt tears begin to fall down his face rapidly. Adrenaline racing through him.

"I'm sorry Kaoru...but I can't do this," he said placing the blade against his wrist.

"Okay then..bye Kyoya," Tamaki said.

"_Bye."_

Tamaki hung up and put the phone back in his pocket. He let out a sigh and opened the door.

Hikaru pressed the blade to his skin and then-

"HIKARU!"

Hikaru widened his eyes suddenly dropping the knife that had been in his hand. His body was trembling sobs threatening to escape him.

Tamaki rushed over to him staring wide eyed at him.

He couldn't find words for a moment..there was an anger inside him though. He reached down grabbing the knife, and stared at Hikaru.

"Why did you do that!" he asked his voice slightly louder then he wanted.

Hikaru looked down. Tears continuing to trail down his face.

"Well!" Tamaki asked. Then something snapped inside of Hikaru, mixing between anger and depression.

"BECAUSE KAORU'S NOT COMING BACK!" he shouted suddenly. Tamaki widened his eyes.

"I KNOW HE'S NOT I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM! I WON'T!" he shouted.

His eyes glared at Tamaki.

"I KNOW HE'S NEVER COMING BACK! I'D RATHER DIE THEN LIVE WITHOUT HIM!" he shouted.

"I'D RATHER KILL MYSELF THEN LIVE WITH THIS EMPTY PAIN FOR THE REST OF MY DAMN LIFE!" he shouted.

Tamaki's anger was triggered mixed with the same protectiveness he harbored for the younger male.

He glared at him suddenly grabbing his shoulders and shoved him against the windowed wall.

"DON'T SAY THAT!" he shouted at him.

Hikaru widened his eyes as he shoved him he winced slightly, suddenly all the anger left his face.

He stared into Tamaki's angry blue eyes. While they stared into frightened green.

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE! AND NEITHER IS KAORU!" he shouted.

"I AM NOT GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN TO ANY OF US!"

"DON'T EVER SAY THAT EVER AGAIN!" he shouted.

Panting staring at the shorter boy. His glare faded now staring at the other.

Tears streaming down his face his green eyes were frightened. He felt the boys body shaking against him.

His anger disappeared.

Shuttering glass.

His eyes turned slightly guiltier realizing what he had done. He then wrapped his arms around him, holding him close to his body never wanting to let go.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell at you," he apologized softly his breath shaking slightly, from his previous rage.

Tamaki's bangs fell over his eyes as he tried to stop himself from shaking.

"..You just scared me..I thought you were going to die," he said holding his body closer.

"I wasn't trying to to yell at you....I just can't stand the thought of losing you."

Hikaru looked at him slightly through a blurred vision.

"Please don't scare me like that again Hikaru," he said his intake of breath shaking slightly. "I don't want to lose you..especially not like that. I promise I'll make everything alright again okay," he said.

"I promise I will..I promise," Tamaki repeated. "All I want to do is protect you right now...I can't let you get hurt."

A spark flashed once more in Hikaru's eyes, as he stared at Tamaki. How is it he cared so much. How was it that he was so sincere when he said those things.

How was it he almost reminded him of Kaoru?

How was it that he made him feel like everything would be alright. Making him feel as if Kaoru was right there with him.

Why was it he could feel the pieces of his shattered life, slowly being put back together. Piece..by little piece.

Tamaki held onto the younger teen still as a tear slid down his face.

"Please don't do that again Hikaru," he said almost pleadingly.

He held onto the red head as if his life depended on it..and he never wanted to let go. He wanted to stay there forever, he wanted to protect him like this.

"I know I can't help you as much as I want...I know I'm not Kaoru," he said. Hikaru blinked slightly letting more tears stream off his cheeks.

"..But...I can try."

"Please Hikaru....Will you let me?" he asked.

Hikaru widened his eyes slightly. There was a pause before he nodded slightly against the others shoulder.

Tamaki let his blue teary eyes emerge from his bangs. He held the boy closer closing his eyes resting head on the boys shoulder.

"I promise I'll make this all right again Hikaru."

TBC

_**woooo...more yaoi..yaya..alright..okay enough of that so what do you think i really mean it guys i need more comments if I'm going to write more..i still have to figure out whats ganna go on for the next chap..if you gots suggestions feel free to tell me them**_


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